God Did It

So a woman went to Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas and found a 3.69 carat diamond. She found it after praying to God, and so she named it the Hallelujah Diamond.

God helped her find the diamond.

God did it.

Let’s back up and go through the facts.

A woman decided to go to a place where diamonds are known to be frequently found.

After it rained, which led the park rangers to plow up the ground because it is known that rain and plowing often exposes new diamonds in the earth.

The woman then deliberately spent several days looking in soil where diamonds are known to be found which had been eroded by nature and deliberately prepared by humans, two factors which greatly increased the likelihood of finding a diamond.

And she found a diamond.

God did it.

Right.

And now we know why children are starving to death and dying of cancer. God’s too busy helping middle aged white women in Murica find diamonds.

Open Thread: Romneyfail

Believers and skeptics alike, I’d like to hear from you. Here’s the question:

Has Romney’s seven year failed pursuit of the white house been good or bad for the public image, visibility, and viability of the LDS Church? Is Mormonism seen as less peculiar or weirder than ever?

Keep in mind that I am inviting personal opinions. There will be many different viewpoints. Arguing will be less productive to this exercise than simply laying out your opinion and seeing what others have to say.

Feminist Fail: Barbie Mum

Open thread for today: Mum of the year buys her child a 7,000 quid voucher for breast augmentation.

My two cents: This woman can be admired for her frankness about sexuality and her idea that there is nothing wrong with an adult choosing to look however she pleases. But this woman is an utter failure as a mum for encouraging hypersexual appearance in a child that is far too impressionable to make her own unbiased choice at this point in life.

How To Doublethink

1. Hear a legitimate statement of fact or a reasonable question that contradicts the dogma you are required to believe.

2. Say “no it isn’t” and then say the complete opposite as if it were absolute fact and common knowledge.

3. Ignore the fact that you’ve completely trampled on someone else’s brain and made them feel confused and stupid for asking a legitimate question.

4. Distract from the real issue at hand with a lot of data that is too vague to be useful.

5. Train yourself not to be aware that you are following steps 1-4.

6. For advanced doublethink, become unaware that you are training yourself at all.

For a working example, just read how David L. Draut does it. It’s a textbook study!