Why a taco is better than God

  1. A taco will never tell you “thou shalt have no other tacos before me.”
  2. Everyone each sees their own personal taco in a unique way; some add pico de gallo, others avocado. But nobody ever argues over their personal interpretation of a taco.
  3. Tacos do not threaten hellfire; they just come with a pleasant zesty tingle.
  4. Tacos don’t expect you to pretend that they are transmogrified into human flesh when you eat them.
  5. Tacos make you feel better about being shitfaced at 2 am, not worse.
  6. Tacos let you have pork. Mmm, carnitas . . .
  7. Tacos don’t make you show up at a taqueria at 10 am every Sunday. You can just go whenever you like.
  8. Tacos do not charge ten percent of your income in order to gain access to them.
  9. Tacos don’t get annoyed if you don’t feel like having a taco.
  10. A taco doesn’t make you talk to it in the false hope that it will say something back.
  11. If you’re having sex and you realise that the taco is watching you, it isn’t creepy.
  12. Tacos are not invisible and intangible. They can be seen, smelled, and tasted.
  13. Tacos don’t make you tell other people about tacos.
  14. There’s no need to shove tacos down children’s throats. Most kids love them!
  15. If somebody is droning on and on and on in some kind of preachy way, the pleasant crunch of a taco will drown out whatever they are saying.

Please add your own reasons why tacos are better than God!

17 thoughts on “Why a taco is better than God

  1. I disagree!!! If I realized my taco was watching me have sex, it would be *extremely* creepy. I’d probably be scarred for life…that is, after I called the Mirror and cashed in with pictures. I also submit that all these reasons can equally be applied to burritos…and one huge preference there is, it’s a lot easier to eat them whilst on a date. Whenever I eat crunchy tacos, they end up exploding and leaving bits and pieces on my shirt.

    Which brings me to another excellent benefit of tacos: they don’t care if you cheat on them with burritos, or even quesadillas. Making the commitment to enjoy a taco doesn’t limit your options. And you can get tacos from *many* different establishments. My mates and I recently rejected our (previously) preferred taqueria in favor of one that sells even better tacos, even cheaper! And yet we can return to the old place–guilt free–any time we like. Nobody’s threatening us with a “court of love”, because we ate somewhere else for a few weeks.

  2. “Tacos do not threaten hellfire; they just come with a pleasant zesty tingle.”

    You’ve never eaten a taco with Dave’s Insanity Sauce!

    Here’s another reason why tacos are better than the Abrahamic God: tacos can be enjoyed by everyone. A taco shop will always sell you tacos regardless of your political views, dress, ideas, sexual orientation, or gender identity.

  3. Tacos do not interfere with the natural development of your sexuality or your expression thereof. Tacos don’t obsess over your virginity, make you wait until marriage, or make you feel guilty and dirty if you think about sex, engage in “heavy petting” or masturbate.

  4. You can actually blame taco for the bad things that happens in your life (the extra pound gained from a taco-eating-spree slowed me down and I lost the 100 m dash, garlicky taco gave me bad breathe which is why that girl doesn’t return my call, I was trying to taco-eating while driving and that was why I ran over that old man’s poodle, etc)…

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