What’s next, aesthetically perfect ovaries?

Today a friend forwarded me a link to an article about a journalist who got
vajazzled on camera. I was left with the following thoughts: Bizarre, Why, and why is it that a man would never do something so ridiculous, but it’s expected and encouraged for a woman to do it, preferably in public?

Women worked so hard to enter the public sphere, and there have been some hard-earned gains with regards to jobs, earnings, and civil rights. But as far as women as sexual objects, women’s entry to public life has only taken private male sexual ownership of women’s bodies and sexuality and make it a public spectacle.

It’s downright disturbing to see the creeping effect of demands to be perfect. In the past, just your face and figure had to be perfect; now a woman’s lady parts have to be picture perfect as well. The rise of cosmetic labial reduction and insane products like Vajazzle and My New Pink Button are an obsession that make Wonderbras look downright feminist.

Rubbish like this makes me want to bang my head against the wall. The concern I now have is “what’s next?” We’ve figured out a way to wax, pluck, plump, enhance, compress, paint, botox, liposuction, dye, and augment every visible inch of the female body. What’s next? Vital organ modification? Stripping the pituitary gland so that women don’t grow body hair or sweat in the first place? I’ll have to remind myself not to be surprised when I read an article a few years from now describing an exciting new procedure to give women aesthetically pleasing ovaries.

7 thoughts on “What’s next, aesthetically perfect ovaries?

  1. To say that because women feel the need to do this to feel attractive has alot more to do with America’s obsession with Hollywood, Who’s wearing what, Who is doing who, The fact that being anything bigger than a size 4 is “fat” and all this other bullshit that is published in 90% of the magazines meant for women to read. The reason a man would never do this? We know our nuts arnt going to look any better with a little bling on them, and we just dont care. Any man that is a REAL man doesnt give a crap if your toe nail polish matches your finger nail polish, if your shoes dont match your outfit, or any of this other CRAP that is listed as “Such a bad thing to do!” by rags like Cosmo and Redbook or whatever other female propaganda magazines they put out these days. I honestly like the following in a woman. Her eyes first, they are the first thing that catch me. Secondly, her ass. I dont care, I like the way a womans butt looks. Sue me. but beyond that, what i look for, an honest, funny, smart woman that is loyal and knows what she wants in life. I couldnt care what color her nail polish is, if she bedazzles her cooch (infact, I think i would be laughing too hard at the sight of that to even consider going any further with her) or any of this other crap that women seem to think they need to do to get a “good man.” Dont hide your flaws under layers and layers of make up, dont wear push up bras, dont wear jeans that make your ass look firmer than it really is because its two sizes too small, because one day, the man your with, is going to wake up and see you in your natural glory, see that little mole youve always used make up to hide, the fact that those perky C cups are really just kinda droopy B cups, and the fact that your ass is not firm at all, and then they will get on you about “Letting yourself go” when in reality your just looking like mother nature INTENDED you to look. So please – from a man who is tired of this game. STOP TRYING TO LOOK LIKE THE PERSON THAT GOD MADE YOU TO BE!

  2. To say a man would never do this? Maybe…but I am reminded of a number of photographs of men who had carp and other interesting things tattooed on their penises. Ouch. I don’t think either of these are things you do to get a mate. I think they are things you do for yourself, and not in the same catagories as the ridiculous crap in the fashion industry. And when I do paint my nails and toenails the same color? I ain’t doin’ it for you, I’m doing it because it amuses me and makes me feel good. I could totally see vajazzling for fun at some point, but it wouldn’t be to get a date: I’d have to spend all night flipping up my skirt to show it off! LOL!

  3. Dave Chapelle said it best : Women wear these outfits that make there boobs stick out to here, make there asses look better than they really do, and get upset and say “I am NOT a slut, I dress this way for ME : Well Ladies it may be true, you are not a slut but you are wearing a sluts uniform, How is it diffrent than if I wore a cop uniform on the streets if NY and some woman comes running up to me “SIR SIR HELP HE STOLE MY PURSE HES RIGHT THERE” and I said “JUST because im dressed this way, does NOT make me a cop!”

  4. and guys that tattoo there wangs – think of how stupid the average american is, then realize 50% are more stupid than that. Those are your less than 50%’rs that think “GEE I THINK ILL TATTOO A PICTURE OF A BIRD ONTO MY WANG” right up there with the statement you made

    “I ain’t doin’ it for you, I’m doing it because it amuses me and makes me feel good. I could totally see vajazzling for fun at some point, but it wouldn’t be to get a date: I’d have to spend all night flipping up my skirt to show it off!”

    so your not doing it for a mans attention , just so you can show off your snatch all night long?

  5. thanks for writing about my crotchtastic experience…
    i basically agree with you, but in pursuit of journalistic excellence, i’ll be filming my ovary augmentation surgery next week.

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