My two cents: This woman can be admired for her frankness about sexuality and her idea that there is nothing wrong with an adult choosing to look however she pleases. But this woman is an utter failure as a mum for encouraging hypersexual appearance in a child that is far too impressionable to make her own unbiased choice at this point in life.

Bishop X
Ward X
Address

Dear Sister Molly,

Brother [Ex Husband] is applying to the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for a sealing clearance. As a former sealed spouse of Brother [Ex Husband], you are requested to provide a letter. This letter should include your feelings about this application and whether Brother [Ex Husband] is current in any financial obligations related to your divorce.

Please return your letter to the above address. Your consideration of this matter is greatly appreciated.

Bishop X

This letter provides a pretty good example of the lack of respect for personal boundaries that LDS, inc. has for the individuals it interacts with. Let’s think this through:

1. I’m not a member of this church any more. But they track me down and send me this letter.
2. They refer to me as “Sister” – an attempt to demonstrate authority over me and ignore the fact that I escaped from them.
3. The letter never expresses concern for my well-being, nor does it apologise for what must necessarily be an intrusion of my privacy and an unsettling request to rehash the past.
4. The letter instructs rather than asks me to provide them with a letter. The tone is authoritarian rather than inviting.
5. Was this letter written by a robot or what?

I spent most of yesterday going back and forth. But after thinking it through, I will send a response. I’d like to let this bloke know that I do not appreciate being tracked down and contacted, despite my explicit instructions not to. I do not appreciate having my personal information acquired and recorded by an organisation I do not belong to. I do not appreciate the tactless request to dig up a past that is long buried. I want them to know that if they do this again I will contact the press and they will hear from my attorney. One more push and I’ll sacrifice my anonymity and make a public fuss.

The other thing I could possibly achieve from this is getting numerous nasty postings made about me online by my ex and his family. It’s common for cheating spouses to react irrationally when they get caught, and although he was the one having sex with guys from the Internet, all of a sudden I was the one who apparently suffered from every type of psychosis imaginable. Among the claims they made were that I hypnotised him into thinking that he was gay, that I was psychotic, that I had Borderline Personality Disorder, that I had “Killed the Light of Christ” and so on and so forth. The postings are all so irrational that they really only made friends more sympathetic, and they have never affected my work. But from time to time a friend will find one of them when searching for something else about me online, and they inevitably mention it. They mean well and are generally supportive, but it would be lovely not to have these little reminders pop up now and again to shout out “Oi! Molly! Remember how much fun it was being married to a self-loathing gay bloke whose repression made him explode in a giant globby mess of psychological flotsam?” Time can take the sting out of words, but the Internet keeps them fresh. Words on the Internet don’t fade with time. They are either online or deleted. I’ve put down my baggage from this mess. I don’t need it to keep following me around like a smelly unwanted stray animal.

So here’s how I do it. (And I don’t care if the twats from the Church Office Building are reading this, because it’s going to be difficult to disagree with.) The continued presence of this rubbish online is a pretty good indicator that he isn’t remorseful about (a) cheating on me (b) blaming me for cheating on me (c) saying a lot of nasty things about me. If he’s really repaired himself and moved on and is actually psychologically healthy enough to be marrying some other girl, then he shouldn’t be harbouring any bitterness toward me. It’s a bit hard to believe that he’s forgiving himself and me for everything if smug, false claims about my sex life, my morality, and my sanity are still gracing the pages of his and his family’s blogs. The repentance process requires recompense. There is no apology he could make with words that would really mean anything to either of us at this point. No, that ship has sailed. But from a doctrinal standpoint, taking away some words can get close enough. The only recompense I can get at this point is to have this person deleted from my life. To have all threads, physical, symbolic, and digital, cut forever. So that’s what I’ll ask for.

I don’t know if they will listen. After all, I’m the dirty apostate and he’s the one who has used the mask of piety to avoid dealing with the realities of his situation. But I hope by sending one last letter I can send a message to both my Ex-Church and my Ex-Husband: I’ve finished with you. Now fuck off.

1. I have successfully concealed my address from LDS, Inc. for three years. It’s very creepy that they have tracked me down. If I accept the letter, they will have a confirmation of where I live.

2. What on earth can they have to send to me? I haven’t been a member of LDS, Inc. since November of last year, and in my resignation letter I specified that I wanted to be left alone. What can they have to say to me now? Why is it important enough to warrant a certified letter?

3. A big part of me just wants to ignore it, but I also recognise that it would be foolish to remain ignorant as to why a large, shadowy, powerful office building in Salt Lake City is trying to send me information.

What to do?

At any rate, the ice has thawed somewhat over the many months and while my father does his best to avoid speaking to me, my mum has come back around a bit. I’m actually pleased that she’s coming to visit. When you get her on her own away from her responsibilities she’s loads of fun. However, I need to prepare the house so that none of our lifestyle differences are shoved in her face. Here’s all the things I have needed to clear away to make the house acceptable to a Mormon Mum:

- All glassware bearing the name of a booze company (Guinness, etc.)
- All the booze
- The wine racks
- A copy of The Kama Sutra
- Caffeinated tea
- Coffee
- Refrigerator magnet reading “I believe the glass is half full as long as there is whisky in it.”
- Empty beer bottles in the bin
- My collection of Mormon-related books, including scriptures, old lesson manuals, and titles such as The Book of Mammon, An Insider’s View of Mormon Origins, By His Own Hand Upon Papyrus, and Losing a Lost Tribe.
- Buddy Jesus figurine
- Coin purse reading “I’m Savin’ Up For Jesus!”
- Movies rated 15 and 18 (That’s R-rated to you Yanks)
- Flying Spaghetti Monster tea mug
- Sexy underpants in pile of washing

I think that should do it. Doubtless I’ll find a few more things in my final sweep, but I believe I’ve removed any tinder that could start a fire. Hopefully we’ll now just have a nice week-end.

Fingers crossed. Wish me luck.

Well done, PETA. You’ve reminded us that although you’ve got the hots for animals, you clearly care nothing for humanity and women in particular. This isn’t the first time they’ve utilised the Hot Chick approach to marketing, and sadly I’m guessing it won’t be the last.

Regardless of how you feel about the validity of veganism as a lifestyle choice, please give the bird to PETA’s disgraceful use of birds.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=bestoftv/2011/10/07/tsr-romney-values-voter-mormon.cnn

The other Republican candidates keep taking the high road and saying that being a Mormon should be a non-factor in Romney’s candidacy. I believe they are doing this so they can look magnanimous and also to keep from having anyone apply scrutiny to their own religious beliefs.

So let’s try a little exercise. Let’s bridge the gap between Romney’s religion and muse about what Mormonism might mean in terms of real life presidential policy.

Women

If you’ve read the Church Handbook of Instructions, you’ll know that the LDS Church threatens stiff punishment for anyone who has an abortion or assists others to have an abortion. Many religious politicians have been able to strike a reasonable compromise by saying that while they personally opposed abortion, they recognised the right of individuals and society at large to determine that matter for themselves. Mitt doesn’t get that liberty. If he sincerely is Mormon, then as head of the US Government he would be responsible for assisting others in obtaining abortions so long as it remained legal.

The good ol’ CHI is also strictly opposed to in vitro fertilisation, artificial insemination, and single parenting. How would that translate to a Mormon president’s social policy?

There’s also the problem that comes with Mormonism’s teachings that a woman’s place is in the home and a man is head of the family. If Mitt really believes in his faith, then Americans can’t count on him to address the wage gap between male and female workers or do anything about the glass ceiling that affects women’s job progress.

Minorities

Racial and sexual minorities might want to consider what it would mean to have a Mormon president. Herman Cain graciously sidestepped the question over Romney’s faith when asked, but I wonder if the African-American candidate knows what Mormonism has to say about black people. Would the ironically named Mr. Cain have a problem with a president who believed him to be a descendent of THE Cain, born in this life with The Curse of Cain because he sat on the fence during the War in Heaven between God and Lucifer?

A Mormon president would be under massive pressure to reinstate Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and revoke any marriage-like benefits currently available to same-sex partners. A Mormon president would be obligated by his faith to oppose gay adoption or birth to gay couples via surrogacy or artificial insemination. Since Mormonism sees homosexuality as a form of delusion or even a mental illness, would a Mormon president be in favour of recriminalising gay sex acts?

But let’s not forget the extra-fun perennial issue:

That, er, Israeli-Palestinian Thing

Mormons are pro-Israel. Not because they are anti-Arab or anti-Islam, but because Mormonism was founded as a type of neo-Judaism. Mormons consider themselves literal descendants of Israel (usually through Ephraim) and borrow heavily from the Old Testament for their religious rituals. Mormons look forward to The Second Coming, when Jesus returns to Earth and reigns in glory before the final judgement. However, very specific prophecies must be fulfilled before this can happen. The nation of Israel needed to be established. That’s been done, and Mormons are in favour of its continued existence. (Sorry, Ahmadinejad.) One of the biggies is that the Jewish temple needs to be rebuilt in Jerusalem. Israel then needs to be on the brink of annihilation, at which time Jesus descends and shazam, world peace.

Prophecies are all well and good and abstract, but let’s think through the physical realities. If you are a faithful Mormon you aren’t anti-Palestinian per se, but you are definitely pro-Israel. What’s more, if the temple is to be rebuilt then a Mormon would have to favour Jewish control over Jerusalem to the point of making the reconstruction of the temple feasible.

I doubt most Mormons know what the Al-Aqsa Mosque is or why it’s important to Islam. I also doubt that most of them know that it’s parked right on top of the ruins of the Jewish temple. So let’s review. Translating abstract belief into real-world foreign policy, if he truly believes in his faith, he’d like the Second Coming to happen as soon as possible. This means peace in the Middle East doesn’t really benefit God’s plan. The Al-Aqsa Mosque has got to go, and the Jewish Temple has got to be rebuilt. And if one thing could trigger Armageddon, it would be knocking down the Dome of the Rock. How on earth can a US President shape foreign policy with this kind of awkward religious doctrine hanging over his conscience?

But of course this is just theoretical

Would any of this actually affect a possible Romney presidency? I doubt it. Romney is a politician first and a Mormon second. His political track record shows that. Like Obama, I feel that Romney pays lip service to religion because he knows it’s required for the American public to feel that he is firm in his convictions. But this little exercise does demonstrate how difficult it is to elect a Mormon because you simply can’t predict how serious someone like Mitt is in implementing his faith in the real world. Mormonism isn’t just a religion. It’s a social, cultural, and foreign policy rolled up into a church.

The repeating refrain among the flock of GOP hopefuls is that religion doesn’t matter when it’s inconvenient to a candidacy but it matters very much when it’s helpful. I’d hope that voters notice this and carefully consider what exactly they’re signing on for when endorsing a candidate.

It’s getting harder, though, to be able to deliver the sort of commentary that I had in mind when I started this blog. I’m not interested in torturing myself by watching Ginrul Confernz. Conference is predictable to a fault. One or two token female speakers breathing the vapours of recently swallowed antidepressants into the microphone. Generic choral music sung by white people. Mind-numbing, bland feel-good pablum about sharing or something. Praise of the virtues of Doublethink and excoriation of the vice of Thoughtcrime, especially as they apply to naughty ideas about civil rights and secular government. There’s always at least one zinger, but GA misbehaviour gets enough press that I don’t need to bother listening to the old windbags all weekend to glean the inevitable bigotry.

That’s why this weekend Ginrul Confernz sneaked up on me. I simply forgot it was happening. I’ve forgotten a lot of things. Like the chill that used to go up my spine whenever someone told a 4 REELZ story about The Three Nephites that was passed along from their Bishop’s wife’s nephew’s sister-in-law. Or the reason I used to get choked up whenever some shrill-voiced Mia Maid got to the line “AND THEN THEY PEEEE-YURCED-THEM” in the Kenneth Cope song “His Hands.” (Wow, did I actually just admit that? The shame and horror.)

Some memories are fresher. Like the way people treated me when they learned I was getting a divorce from a philandering closeted criminal (BUT LDS!) husband who had used up his seven times seventy chances. Or the way people suddenly vanished from my life when they learned I had finally dropped off the deep end and was committing the final crime of marrying a non-member. (Mr. Molly, by the way, is loving, devoted, honest, stable, chock-full of integrity, and treats me as a partner. However, he is not a return missionary with a temple recommend, meaning he is clearly an agent of Satan. If so, then consider me the sinfully happy bride of Hell.)

I remember the peaceful realization that I didn’t want to pretend any more. I remember the sad acceptance that, while I would always love the family, friends, and community from my life as a Mormon, it meant more to me to stand up for what I believe is right than to keep myself in the closet. I remember the relief of knowing I was going to stop pretending to be affiliated with an organisation that is based on a rubbish work of Bible fan fiction written by a sex-crazed megalomaniac.

The Internet was the beginning of the end for groups that keep members in line through psychological intimidation and misinformation. We’re now at a point where the Catholic church cannot hide its sexual abuses of children. Jehovah’s witnesses, Scientologists, Mormons, and other groups with shoddy truth claims are having a hard time accepting that the public now has the ability to document abuses and scrutinise their every word. No one can hide hypocrisy any more. With the Internet nearing 20 years old, an entire generation has now reached adulthood reared on the idea that truth is something they can find for themselves. Let’s be honest; Google answers a lot more questions than God does.

Religion, politics, and cultural change is still something that interests me. But my scope has moved beyond a specific critique of Mormonism. LDS, Inc. represents a fairly insignificant religious movement in world history. Judging by the high attrition rate, the desperation of Mormonism’s marketing campaigns, and the increasing role of Mormonism as a cultural joke, its future as a significant cultural force seems dim. Mormons who reach prominence (such as Harry Reid or Mitt Romney) make progress only by downplaying their faith. (By comparison, mainstream Christians gain a political benefit from being overtly religious.) Mormon celebrities tend to be poor examples of a religion that penetrates most member’s lives twenty-four hours a day.

I’m more interested in looking at the bigger picture. Mormonism contributes a great deal to both overt and latent sexism, racism, and homophobia in Western culture, and the religion deserves its share of the blame. But I’m growing more interested in seeking out the common threads that bind human beings to outmoded ways of thinking. And then hopefully cut through them with a rhetorical chainsaw.

So as I come off my blogging hiatus, I’d like to introduce the first set of features I’ll be focusing on: Feminism Fails and Woman Wins. For example, this week’s Feminism Fail goes to Gisele Bündchen, who not only promotes a standard of beauty that devalues almost all women on Earth but somehow managed to do her part to encourage negative stereotypes about Brazilian women even as women make unprecedented progress in that country. Fail.

As always, I’m eager for contributions by guest writers. If you’re interested in smashing through outmoded cultural expectations and contributing the the growing arsenal against bullshit, drop me a line.

Homophobic Friends from WayDownEast on Vimeo.